Social SImulation

Feeling empty or numb or starting and then stopping and feeling hopeless and taking off and landing and feeling guilty or worthless and feeling lonely or unloved and feeling the emptiest of feelings and feeling irritable and annoyed a lot and seeing all the time disappointed people and feeling like things are not fun anymore and clinging on to proverbs and when it comes it´s so so disappointing and having trouble keeping your mind on schoolwork or homework or getting bad grades and thinking that one day I am gonna grow wings and go and now i´m having trouble keeping my mind on things like reading or watching TV or not remembering what a book or a TV show was about and feeling like the floor is collapsing and falling and bouncing back and having less energy and feeling tired all the time and sleeping too much or not enough and not eating enough and weight loss or eating too much and weight gain and thinking about death or thinking about suicide and spending less time with friends and more time alone crying a lot often for no reason and feeling restless having certain body feelings like stomachaches and headaches and chest pain and feeling like i didn´t did the best all the time and now it´s to late but you can come back and think it all over and see that it´s not changing a bit and all it´s going to end the exact way it´s started: one life one death.