Daddy And Mommy

You, my little child,
Know the violent world.
You, my little child,
Don't know what to do.
Your daddy beats your mommy,
Your mommy hurts alot.
The reason your daddy hurts you,
is your daddy loves you lots.
But you see he loves your mommy too.
That's why this violent thing you live, is still happening to you.

Mum's asked dad to move out. I hope he does. He got really drunk last night. He smashed our glass coffee table. I was screaming at the top of my lungs for him to go to his bedroom and just leave me alone, but he wouldn't. I hit him with a saucepan lid a few times. I pushed him into the fridge too. I've never done that before. He was bleeding from the glass but he couldn't feel it. He couldn't tell. I don't like him or respect him. I want him to leave and never talk to me again, not if he stays this way, he needs to go to rehab, he needs help. And i'm sick of him. Fucking alcoholic...

I haven't eaten today. I weighed myself this morning and i was 48.2 kilograms. I knew i would put on because of what i ate last night. Hopefully i'll be able to get through today...
My boyfriend and i had a bit of an argument. I need him to call me more and message me more and just care more, just because he's not here doesn't mean he doesn't have to be here FOR me... Hopefully he'll make more of an effort. I miss him and he says he misses me....
I hope so…
Sometimes i wish i could tell him what is going on with me right now, but i don't want him to stop me, I want to be perfect for him.... or as close to perfect as i can be…